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Don’t miss out on what’s meant for you

pleasure Apr 15, 2022

A lot of the conversation around pleasure is around you getting to have what you most want. I’m obviously here for this message!

But when we’ve been so conditioned (and we have been!) to believe there’s a specific range of what’s possible for us, there’s a very high likelihood that we don’t even know what we want.

We go through the world with these kinds of blinders on.

Everything in our area of focus is a logical possibility for our life, based on what we know about ourselves, people like us, our history, and how things have gone for us up until now.

But what about everything outside of view? Just beyond your current expected reality?

What if what you most deeply want for your life is just out of view, just outside the range of what you think is possible and what you can allow yourself to imagine?

What then?

I’ve been realizing the extent to which I still deny myself what I most want.

When I refuse to make eye contact with anyone, when what...

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Hard things are what we make of them

empowerment Apr 08, 2022

We drove up the west coast of Ireland a couple weeks ago after a friend's wedding and stopped in a national park to stretch our legs on one of our long driving days.

It had been raining hard that morning and we bundled fully prepared for it to start coming down again on our walk.

We parked and made our way down to the trailhead and started along the loop.

It felt good to stretch our legs and see the wild beauty of the stark tundra-esque landscape.

Eventually we got to a decision point in the trail where we either continued on the same loop back down or went another three miles straight up to the top of a peak overlooking the coastline.

I assumed it wasn't even a decision. We had already been driving for a couple hours and still had a couple more to go with some other stops we were planning to make. We simply didn't have the time to do the extra hike.

Apparently that was not evident and my partner surprised me by assuming we were absolutely going to climb the mountain.

After my...

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Do you realize how much you are addicted to suffering?

pleasure Apr 01, 2022

Have you ever considered how much you actually like not feeling good?

I know it’s a bizarre question, but trust me it’s one worth investigating.

Humans are neurologically wired to focus on the negative, what's not working, what needs to be fixed (google negativity bias.) In fact, we spend inordinate amounts of time trying to solve problems that don't even exist!

This is partly what it is to be human and have this big ‘ole brain that's designed for SURVIVAL (aka problem solving and scanning for threats) vs THRIVING (aka actually enjoying life).

But this doesn't have to be your reality.

There are very practical strategies you can use to see the good, feel the good and actually let yourself take in the good.

Here's what I mean by taking in the good (or rather what I DON'T mean)...

Do you know someone who is rich but miserable?

Do you know someone who lives in the most beautiful place on earth but doesn't enjoy it?

Do you know someone or are you that someone who has...

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I got my nails done today 💅

empowerment Mar 25, 2022

I got my nails done today.

I flipped through the color samples and chose a bright warm red labeled number 113 that looked like it might be the color I really like at the other salon I usually go to.

The nail tech brought out the bottle that corresponded to the sample I selected and set it down on the counter while she filed and shaped my nails.

While she fixed up my scraggly nails, I looked at the color of the bottle and realized it was more orange than I wanted and likely wasn’t the warm red that I had thought it was.

Then I had to decide if I was going to say something…

Some of you think this is ridiculous and wouldn’t blink an eyelash at sending food back if it wasn’t what you expected or asking for an adjustment to a haircut or other service.

In this situation, she hadn’t even painted my nails yet, it was really NOT a big thing to ask.

Those of you who hesitate…you get it. It’s that pesky people pleasing self-preservation instinct...

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Letting yourself be happy is hard

pleasure Mar 17, 2022

Letting yourself be happy is one of the hardest things you’ll do as an adult

Who am I to be happy when the world is falling apart?

Who am I to be happy when there is so much suffering?

Who am I to enjoy what I have when others have so little?

The guilt and shame are toxic

They compound and fester

And they help no one, not you and not anyone

You get to enjoy your life because you do

This is the lesson pleasure is here to teach you

The holy truth is this: when you are filled up your natural generosity can pour forth

Giving to yourself is not selfish, it’s the *only* way you can be generous without over giving and crossing your own boundaries

You get to be resourced, supported and happy AND trust yourself to be kind and generous to others when you feel moved to do so

I dare you to prioritize your joy, pleasure and happiness for one week and see what happens

Are you game?

The Everyday Pleasure Challenge starts next week and it might just be the best thing I’ve ever...

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You get to feel good

pleasure Mar 11, 2022

Do you struggle to let yourself feel good and enjoy your life, especially when the world is on fire?

Do you feel guilty for your privilege and wonder who the f am I to get to prioritize my joy and happiness?

Are you often stuck in your head solving problems, even ones that don’t exist yet, instead of enjoying what’s right in front of you?

Are you looking for all the things that are wrong in your life instead of the things that are right?

If you answered yes to any of the above, ooof do I feel you!

What would it be like to practice letting in any amount of joy and pleasure in your life that you can access?

Even with the bed unmade, messy hair, laundry in the floor, dishes in the sink, existential crises and good-hearted intentions abounding

You still get to feel good

That’s the lesson pleasure is here to teach you

If there were a magic pill or secret sauce to make errything in your life feel better, we’re talking work, life, relationships, parenting,...

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Everyday pleasure is available for you

pleasure Mar 04, 2022

There is something undeniably magnetic about a woman in her pleasure.

Grounded. Connected. Alive. Radiant. She knows what she wants and who the f*ck she is.

I know this way of living. It’s literally my job. But sometimes, even now, it can feel lightyears away.

Yesterday I had one of those mornings. You know those mornings...

You wake up late and look at your calendar and have no idea how you're going to get through everything on the list. Too much to do, too little time. Behind before you even start.

Often the overwhelm comes not from the actual time it takes to do the things on our list, but from the emotional charge of doing said things. And by often, I mean basically always!

Responding to that one email you haven't responded to because you don't want to confront the feelings of potentially having disappointed someone or yourself.

That's why I like to say that procrastination doesn't really exist...it's an avoidance pattern connected to perfectionism that protects us from...

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Hey, did you hear?

empowerment Feb 25, 2022

I know it might feel like a weird time to prioritize yourself and sign up for a coaching call.

It totally is. And here’s what I want to remind you of today:

Remember that any response you're having right now is valid.
Remember that it's not selfish to take care of yourself.
Remember that punishing yourself doesn't help anyone.
Remember to be grateful for peace, especially in the face of war.
Remember that it's healthy to turn off the news and go outside.
Remember to take in any goodness you can today.
Remember to help in any way you can.
Remember to tend to your heart.

I’m still offering free coaching calls until next week and there’s no better time to give yourself this gift.

My clients pay thousands of dollars to get access to me but I'm offering up these coaching spots for free because I want you to be able to feel this for yourself.

I'm willing to stand on this proverbial street corner and look stupid to get you to sign up so I can show you just how powerful this work...

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If it doesn't feel good, what's the point?

pleasure Feb 18, 2022

If it doesn't feel good, what's the point?

What's the point of the job that pays you well if you're too busy to enjoy your life?

What's the point of living in a beautiful place if you're too exhausted to get outside?

What's the point of the relationship, the house, the job, the family of your dreams if you don't know how to take all the goodness and gratitude in and not self-sabotage?

Yes, there are bills to pay and needs to be taken care of

But we’re kidding ourselves and missing out on so much that is possible by thinking the only way to do that is by grinding away at something we don’t even really like.

I genuinely believe the point of life is finding what feels good and following it.

That's how you know you're in alignment.

That's how you know you're on track.

That's how you know you're operating from trust instead of fear.

If things aren't feeling good, where could you move just one degree towards more pleasure?

Orienting towards pleasure doesn't mean your...

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Hard work does NOT equal results

empowerment Feb 10, 2022

I know you value hard work and respect others that give their all. It’s something you’ve taken pride in and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Here’s where it gets tricky.

Up until this point in your life, the next level of success and achievement has always come when you’ve found that next gear and given just a little more – push a lil harder in the race and you’ll PR, work a little harder on that next project and you’re up for promo.

There comes a time in every high-achieving woman’s life when she realizes that the life she wants simply isn’t possible by working harder.

This is when it’s essential to take a beat and reflect on what you truly want, not what you think you should want or should be doing. Get honest with yourself about why you’re hiding in your work (especially if it’s work that’s not actually aligned with your values) instead of focusing on the things that are truly...

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