Five years ago I had an incredibly powerful experience on my journey to becoming the Queen of my life that I’ve been wanting to share but didn’t know how. I got stuck in perfectionism, in wondering if you would think I was too weird and then I just decided to go for it.
So back in 2016, I was still working at Google while going to grad school on the side.
I was tired and dull. I was lonely and insecure. I was afraid of speaking my truth and tbh didn’t really know what “my truth” was. I was "depressed" (in quotes because I think in grief would've been a more apt diagnosis) according to a counselor I saw a couple times through my employer.
And I was still getting great reviews at work, had a loving partner and amazing friends. Things looked fine, but they weren’t.
You see I knew my dad was going to die that year, maybe not consciously but something in me knew it was going to be an intense year.
So I joined a year-long women's therapy group eager to...
As I sat glued to the news coverage on the coup at our US capitol yesterday, I was reminded of a passage I cited in my master’s thesis from Riane Eisler’s seminal text on patriarchy called The Chalice and the Blade.
As she explains, throughout history humans have cycled between periods of relative peace, freedom and prosperity (which she calls gylany) and periods of war, control and domination (which she calls androcracy – we could also call patriarchy).
Historical patterns show that before a major paradigm and power shift from androcracy to gylany, violence and chaos escalates. What we are witnessing in the United States is as Riane Eisler puts it:
"the final bloodbath of the dying system's violent efforts to maintain its hold...but the death throes of androcracy could also be the birth pangs of gylany and the opening of a door into a new future"
The jig is up. The new power structure prioritizing peace freedom and prosperity for all is forming
We mourn for those...
HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR!
Holy F balls WE MADE IT. YOU MADE IT! WE FREAKING DID IT.
On this New Years morn, I'm sitting with the desire of doing more of what lights me up and turns me on in 2021.
What if this was the energy you brought to this month, to this year!?!
Hey look I know it's hard with covid and all. It requires dedication, creativity and support to find joy, turn-on and life right now.
But what if?
Instead of deprivation and restriction we chose permission and joy this new years – cause you know how this resolution thing goes already don't you?
You don't trust yourself to make smart decisions 11 months of the year, so you buckle down for this 1 month, and hope that's going to shift the rest of your life...sorry babe, that's not how transformation happens.
I want you to build the confidence, trust and inner knowing to be able to make empowered decisions all year round – decisions that come from trust and permission, not from fear and control.
Your brain is...
I was sitting in my backyard this morning feeling tired, grumpy and frumpy from a week of hedonistic feasting and indulgence.
And reflecting on the fact that I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of gal. Maybe you can relate?
Super committed to the new thing and then totally dropping it after a few weeks (oh hi, rock climbing shoes, triathlon suit and qi gong book hiding in my closet)
It's New Year's Resolution season and if you’re starting to feel the pressure I want you to know there’s another way to do this thing.
A way that involves harnessing the energy of the season without signing ourselves up for something we know we can’t commit to only to let ourselves down and feel like a failure again.
I want you to know that it’s not your fault
All the money, time and energy you've poured into something you thought would work
Only to be let down
It’s not your fault.
It's not your fault
It's not your fault
It’s the diet’s...
Have you ever felt like you weren't given all the pieces ?
If you could just find the missing pieces, life would make so much more sense.
I hear you.
My whole life I learned that to be successful, I had to work harder than everyone else and push harder.
If I was tired or worn down, I just had to keep forcing my way through.
But what if that's just one way of doing things?
From where I stand, there are two paths:
Path A - Pushing, Forcing, Fear-based, Patriarchal System, Zero Sum
Path B - Trusting, Deciding, Alignment-based, Post-Patriarchal, Collective
We're all very familiar with Path A.
This is the one most of us have been operating from our whole lives.
It's the path that tells us
More work = More reward
But I'm here to tell you that's only one option.
What if the power of your decisions, belief and alignment could help you have more success by doing less?
I want this for you
More joy, more pleasure, more success, more trust
Less work, less worry, less judgement, less fear
It’s amazing how little and how much can change in a year, solely depending on our perspective.
Maybe 2020 wasn’t the year you hoped. Maybe 2021 will be your year, if you’re ready to make that decision.
There are three foundational keys that form the backbone of my coaching philosophy that has gotten my clients results this year like...
tens of thousands of dollars more in income
deeper levels of self-love, acceptance and understanding than they ever thought possible
greater intimacy with themselves and loved ones
more badass confidence (with boundaries) at work
more freedom, energy and fulfillment than ever before
And I’m going to spill them all for you right here so you can have them too.
The latest research in mindfulness and neuroscience shows that awareness is a necessary skill for transformation. We must be aware of what we want and aware of what is in the way of us getting what we want.
We bring awareness to our breath, sensations and...
Most people believe that your job has to be the thing that gives you meaning and purpose.
I believe meaning and purpose is accessible to everyone, anywhere at any time, regardless of what they do.
This should be obvious.
We're human beings.
We have a fundamental right to feel a sense of meaning and experience a sense of purpose in our lives, no matter what we do, no matter the phases and changes we go through in life.
But it's one of those insidious beliefs that so many of us have taken on, especially in the United States, that we have to find this through work.
We're programmed from a young age to search for this, a la...
What am I going to be when I grow up??
What's gonna be THE thing that gives me meaning, that gives me purpose, that gives me a sense of self, a sense of identity.
That's how our whole system is set up.
It sucks that so many of us are taught that this is the path to a fulfilling life.
At the end of the day, there are some people who find meaning and purpose in...
When clients start working with me, there's this longing that comes alive.
In our sessions they finally glimpse the possibility for their life that a deep part of them knew all along but the thinking mind buried deep-down with its endless thoughts, doubts and fears.
I know it's been hard to give yourself credit – that brain of yours is always scanning for the ways you messed up or could have done it better.
I know it's been hard to prioritize yourself – because you have your career and family and future to consider.
I know it's been hard to get support – because that would mean admitting that you can't actually do it all on your own.
I know it's been hard to receive help – because we've been taught over and over again to be fierce women that can do it all on our own.
I'm here to tell you what you already know – that time is over.
We're doing things a little differently now.
You know you need space, because it's all so much right now.
You know you...
Many of my clients are searching for purpose and meaning in their lives – can you relate?
A lot of us are using the disruption of this year to reflect and reevaluate.
My approach is not the conventional one:
I won't give you an MBTI, Strengths Assessment or the like
I won't talk about finding your Ikigai
I won't help you job search, review your resume or write a cover letter
Personality assessments and strengths finders only go so far if you don't feel connected and confident inside.
My experience with career counseling at Stanford and Google felt like being pushed to skip from A (not knowing wtf I liked and cared about) to Z (totally confident applying for jobs) without the support to hold me in the journey.
That's why my approach is different – confidence first, purpose second
I trust that you and you alone hold the vision for your purpose in life and it will become clearer the more you trust yourself
I help you tap into the wise, intuitive parts of you that know...
One of my brilliant clients shared in our last session that as her responsibility and influence increases in the world, the more support she needs.
We often think it's the opposite – that the more responsible, mature and evolved we become, the less support we should need but that is sooo not true.
As my business expands and I'm on-track to sell out my 1:1 coaching (get on my schedule if you've been thinking about it ;) the more support I get myself.
I have my own 1:1 coach, group coaching program, and several online courses I'm involved in at any given time so I can feel at my best for my current clients, my loved ones and feel that I'm continuing to grow.
So I ask you, how would it feel to give yourself the support you need to grow right now?
What stories or beliefs are you telling yourself that make it hard to do that? Here are some of my faves: