I know things have been hard recently.
Social calendars are filling up. Work’s not getting any easier and you’re pretty worn down.
When everything feels like it’s piling up and the weight is getting heavier and heavier with no sign of release, sometimes the best thing to do is just to be with it.
Just hear me out.
I know you’re already googling getaways to Hawaii and trying to figure out when you can burn it all to the ground, move across the world and take a well-deserved break for once.
Or maybe you’re the type to just tune it all out and dive headfirst into the next binge in an attempt to get some GD peace, quiet and space away from all of your responsibilities.
But what if the thing that could make it all better was actually turning towards it all?
That’s what I’m here to offer.
The practice of being present right here and right now so you taste real freedom and real choice, the kind that comes from deep acceptance and inner clarity.
Last week I wrote a blog post about how my body shape isn’t an issue for me right now, even though I’m heavier than I’ve ever been.
And since writing that piece I'm noticing these changes happening organically in my life.
I've been paying even more careful attention to moving my body, stretching, and taking care of myself in ways that feel good.
I’ve been meditating, journaling, getting into nature and eating and cooking delicious food for myself. Pretty cool, huh?
Sometimes all it takes is saying the thing out loud we've been hiding from and really truly accepting ourselves just as we are, in order to be able to change.
This is a famous psychological paradox – that we can only change that which we first accept.
And let me tell you it feels SO MUCH BETTER to approach change in this way.
Have you experienced something similar?
Or perhaps you're stuck fighting where you're at rather than accepting what’s real right now.
If you're curious about how much...
I talk to women a lot about their bodies – about gaining weight, about not feeling sexy, about feeling out of shape or disconnected.
And I get it, I really do
Here's what's true in my life right now – my body shape is simply not an issue
It's not a focus area except to love and accept and delight in the fullness of exactly who I am right now.
I have other priorities – I'm focused on my business, my relationship, my home, my life.
And you know what helped me get to this place?
Finding ways to connect to my sexiness and aliveness right here, right now
Finding ways to feel strong, powerful and perfect right here, right now
For me that looks like dancing and embodiment practices, new clothes that are comfortable and flattering, showering (lol) and taking care of my hair, skin and body.
And I personally know that being athletic is important to me and I know it will be a focus, but like it's just not right now and when I accept that it everything feels so much lighter!
A couple weeks into one of my programs one brave woman will ask – why can’t I let myself feel good?
Like I know what I’m supposed to do to feel good and yet there’s this resistance I feel to actually letting myself relax, tune into pleasure, and get present with myself.
I love it when I get this question.
The core reason why we find it difficult to actually tune into pleasure in our lives is that we have all been conditioned to be productive.
It’s in the roots of our education system.
I was reading The Enchanted Life by Sharon Blackie in a book club with my friends. There was a chapter on enchantment, how we can find ways to connect to that sense of wonder and awe and engagement with the world that young kids have naturally.
There was a passage about our education system that just hit me in the chest.
It quoted a Stanford Department of Education professor (from my own alma mater!) talking about how our education system, at its core, is designed to turn...
Did you hear?
I made an uncomfortable decision to buy myself a new wallet and purse I had been salivating over.
It wasn't a logical decision. It was a desire-based decision.
My brain wanted to do the math and check my bank account and make sure this was "okay" to do.
My brain needed permission. My body knew exactly what she wanted.
But needless to say...we got the things!
But that's not even the good part...the good part is that as soon as I said yes to my desires, something happened.
Someone I hugely admire asked to join Pleasure as Medicine! AND two more people I've never met before emailed me inquiring about the program and my work and how I could support them.
This is real life!
So I'll say it again:
SAYING YES TO OUR DESIRES ISN'T SELFISH
SAYING YES TO OUR DESIRES HELPS US GROW AND EXPAND
SAYING YES TO OUR DESIRES MAKES ROOM FOR OTHERS TO DO THE SAME
I have to constantly remind myself that life isn't a zero sum game, it just isn't.
The fact that I bought myself a fancy new...
Do you realize you’ve been sold a lie?
That the way to get what you want in life – you know, to be happy, healthy and fulfilled – is to put your head down, work hard, sacrifice yourself, take care of others, and limit your dreams until some undetermined day when you will magically be happy?
This is a big fat LIE that our entire system of education, industry, advertising and culture supports.
I want you to try something on with me. I want you to try on another possibility...
What if saying yes to your desires instead of the “supposed tos” was the thing that got you what you want?
What if every step that took you closer to living exactly as you want to live was the answer?
What if owning what was right for you, was actually what was best for everyone?
Even if it doesn't feel true right now, please know that you are a 100% unique creature.
There never has, nor never will be someone just like you.
In order for you to have what you want in life – to be...
If you haven't signed up for Pleasure as Medicine yet I realize it may be because some part of you thinks this isn't possible for you...
It isn't possible to make the time
It isn't possible to allocate the money
It isn't possible to change your life
It isn't possible to for you to feel better
Do you realize what all those lies do to your confidence??
They slowly but surely wear you down as sure as a stream of water wears down a rock
And YES, they are LIES
I believe in each and every woman there is a self-assured, confident, and unique powerhouse just waiting for her time to shine
Waiting for the years of I'm not good enough, I can't want that, I can’t afford it, This is all I can expect from life, I don't deserve that...to slough away and reveal the sheer brilliance underneath
So if you’re having these thoughts that you can't possibly do this, can't possibly make it work, you are the one person in the world this can't work for because your job, your boss, your kids,...
Did you know a lot of what underlies our modern existential angst and feelings of loneliness is a feeling of not being whole?
There are a lot of reasons why we might feel like we’re not whole, or that we’re lacking or deficient.
Part of this is because we’ve rejected a huge part of ourselves – our animal, primal nature that is.
We go about our lives driving in our cars, working in stucco boxes, and living orderly, tidy lives.
We’re trying to pretend that we’re in control and have everything figured out. But really, on the inside, we don’t feel like we have anything under control.
All of us have ancestors from traditional cultures that lived more in tune with the land, the animals, and the natural world.
These ancestors, and people still living today in indigenous societies, all have a way of really honoring that part of ourselves.
Recognizing the primal aspect of the psyche as a necessary part of our humanity.
There is so much value in...
When I feel overwhelmed and have too much on my plate, I know my first instinct is to be hard on myself.
Maybe you can relate?
For so many of us independent women, our first instinct is to buckle down when things are hard.
For most of our lives we've learned that to succeed, we have to push and force our way through.
We have to be hard on ourselves in order to get where we want to go.
But what if there were another option?
What if by truly, deeply accepting yourself you'd be more free to not only enjoy your life, but also enjoy all the success you can imagine?
Accepting ourselves just as we are encodes the message that we deserve all the good things in our lives. It rewires whatever conditioning we’ve received from our life experience, family and society tells us we don’t deserve to feel good and be happy.
The more we build this loving connection, the more resilient, resourced and connected we will feel when navigating challenges in our lives. Because trust me, they will...
We all have shit we’ve been putting off, waiting for this damn pandemic to end before we _________.
I know I do.
But I also trust that as soon as we deal with it, it will (1) be less scary than we thought, (2) feel so much better and (3) free up way more of our mental energy than we realized it was occupying.
Trust me, the things you think you’re avoiding are taking a way bigger toll on you and everyone around you than you realize.
It's normal to get stuck sometimes, to struggle to take care of yourself even if you know what you *should* be doing…
AND I believe you'll start feeling better when
you take the time to get really honest with where you're at and what you actually want
you don't make yourself wrong for being exactly where you are
you get clear on what you most want and make simple accessible shifts in your life
Going to the doctor or even a wellness coach can SUCK if they tell you what to do or what you *should* be doing instead of getting to deeply...