A million different times in a million different ways we hold ourselves back from what we most want.
We say we don’t know what we want. If we only knew…we could do something about it.
We justify the path we’re on by saying this is what everyone else is doing, this is what we got our degree in, this is what our parents think is right, this must be it.
We get a glimmer of something that lights us up, a new possibility, a new idea that sends a little jolt of energy up our spine, but we say no, no our life is pretty good as it is, people like me don’t do that, I don’t want to risk it.
We actually get a really clear vision of our ideal life. We can see where we are, the people around us and what our life looks and feels like but we’re terrified of what people will think…she did whaaaat!?
Maybe we actually make the leap and try to make it happen right away but it doesn’t come together as easily and quickly as we wanted so we give up and...
Can we both just admit that you're curious...
You've been reading the emails and hearing me talk about how amazing Radiance Collective is for forevah but haven’t made the leap yet ;)
Here we are just 72 hours out from doors closing for the rest of the year and it's decision time babes!
Here are some questions to ask yourself as you're making your decision
Do you have dreams, ambitions and desires for the rest of this year?
Do you want to grow, evolve and learn more about yourself this year?
Are you unsatisfied with the way your life feels on a daily basis?
If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, sign up! It's going to be great
No matter whether you'd just like to feel 10% less overwhelmed, be able to maintain boundaries with work, get clarity in your love life or feel like you are good enough just as you are to land the next opportunity you're craving...
Wanting something isn't enough to make things happen – we need intention, plans, accountability, and...
Again and again we hear that the most effective leaders are those who are transparent, clear and direct.
Again and again we’re told “soft skills” are the most important skills for leaders to cultivate.
Again and again we see ourselves drawn to mentors, friends, and teachers because of their realness, and the way they make us feel less alone in our humanity, not in spite of it.
But again and again it feels too risky for us to put ourselves on the line and allow others to see the fullness of who we are – our power and our struggle – perhaps especially at work or when we’re in positions of leadership.
So we hide
Behind whatever it is for us – professionalism, not speaking up, going along with whatever the higher ups say, hiding parts of our personality or identity, overly prioritizing numbers & strategy when we’re actually deeply empathetic and intuitive…
Brené Brown put it perfectly when she said:...
People all the time are like I have to put 20% of my income in my 401K to use when I'm 70 in the meantime I will marry the wrong person, fuck up my children, work my life away and wonder where the time went
Can we just for a minute admit that conventional strategies for "success" weren't actually designed with your health or happiness in mind?
Like it's totally normal to take out a couple hundred grand in student loans but don't even think about investing a couple grand in getting to know yourself better
Like it's totally normal to throw 200k down for a house and it doesn't even come with a genie that's going to solve all your problems, or even three of them
Permission to do wtf you want with your money
Buy a house; don't
Put all your money in retirement; don't
Go to grad school; do it unconventionally
Use your money for things that will improve your life now AND for years to come
If you’ve been feeling the pull of working with me but also a lil cray for investing in...
I just got back from two weeks in Scotland, plus an impromptu night in London due to a flight cancellation
It was two jam-packed weeks full of the most breathtaking views, soul-reviving adventures, lots of human connection, comedy shows, musicals, light night jazz bars, high quality friend time and lots of delicious food
I took time off from coaching, but was still running the business, connecting with new clients, supporting existing ones while I traveled
Now that I’m back I’m feeling the pull of Radiance Collective starting in just two weeks
The energy of this program is deep and powerful; nourishing and uplifting
It will help you remember the fuck you are and what you are here to do
It’s just the thing to help you finish out the rest of this year in a way you can be proud of
And since traveling, three of you have joined!!
If you’ve been reading the posts, checking out the page and thinking this all looks amazing but maybe it’s not for you for...
I have been working more than I expected since I went on vacation
And that might be confusing for some of you that I’m helping with boundaries and taking time for yourself
The thing is we are in different situations
I am not burned out
I work less than I ever have in my life
I make my own schedule and only work with a handful of women I genuinely adore and love to support
I am lit up and passionate about my work. It is my mission
I genuinely like what I do
And when I’m traveling I often have a ton of creative ideas and things to say!
I’m not going to not write them down and share them with you because I’m “supposed to” be on vacation
Vacation is for doing what you want and I genuinely want to work!
I’ve been posting more than usual, supporting with clients, chatting with folks about radiance collective and welcoming new folks in!
And it’s freaking amazing that I can do that all from my phone anywhere in the world
So yes if my mind is...
I’m writing to you from Phoenix en route to Scotland to meet up with friends for the Fringe Festival and to roam the highlands and islands for the next two weeks!
As I prepare to be mostly in vacation mode for the next two weeks I wanted to share what’s been on my heart this week.
Which is this simple question: What if it all works out?
In my darker and more doubtful times (which often become more intense in direct inverse relationship to the bigness of what I’m trying to accomplish or shift) I sometimes remember to ask myself this question which functions as a very effective pattern interrupt.
What if it all works out?
Because if it all works out and you actually achieve the outcome you most desire, and life gets to be as good as you always hoped, you’re gonna look back and laugh at yourself for all the times you doubted.
For all the times you questioned, second guessed, lost faith in yourself and lost track of your vision.
But what if your trust and...
Here’s the thing people don’t get about empowerment work that often trips them up
If you want to feel powerful and in charge of your life and capable of making the dreams you have for your life come true
You’re going to have to confront the things in the way of you feeling powerful
The icky body shame
That one critical comment someone close to you made when you expressed your true calling
The unworthiness that makes you feel guilty for having anything more than other people
That’s right, this path is not all sunshine and rainbows
I can assure you that as soon as you choose your power, some shit is going to come up
And I hope that when that happens you have someone in your corner to lovingly point out that the stories and “reasons” about why it’s not safe, not okay, too much to claim what you most want may not ultimately be true
They’re stories and you get to investigate whether they still serve you or are in need of an update
I want to tell you a story about young Alyssa
A girl who knew how to get love, feel safe and belong by being the best at what she did
Not by being herself
That was too scary, too risky
No one would like the real Alyssa
She became a master at reading people and knowing how to present the version of herself that each particular person would like
Until she found some very special people she felt safe enough being her weird, brilliant self with
But even then, there were limits to the hiding she could do
It was her senior year of high school and the very first cross country meet of the season
Halfway through the race she realized she couldn’t make it
She spent the summer studying computer science and feminism at Yale and trying desperately to control her growing body
Compulsively weighing herself, making workout routines, not doing said workout routines, feeling bad about herself and binge eating to find comfort
When she landed back home and walked outside to meet her dad at the...
Wanna know the secret to getting what you want in life?
It really comes down to these three things:
knowing who you are, what you want and doing the inner work to believe you get to have it
Knowing who you are is the first most critical step that so many of us want to skip over
Instead, we unconsciously look for the thing that lines up with a script we were handed in childhood for what a “good life” looks like
Without even knowing it, the work we do, the relationships we choose, the way we interact with community, the things we think are possible for us reflect someone else’s dream, not ours
If you don’t know who you are, you can’t possibly live a life that’s an authentic reflection of you
Maybe that’s why your work feels off
Maybe that’s why you find yourself in the “wrong” relationships
Maybe that’s why the people around you don’t feel like your people
Maybe that’s why you’re unsatisfied at the end...