Again and again we hear that the most effective leaders are those who are transparent, clear and direct.

Again and again we’re told “soft skills” are the most important skills for leaders to cultivate.

Again and again we see ourselves drawn to mentors, friends, and teachers because of their realness, and the way they make us feel less alone in our humanity, not in spite of it.

But again and again it feels too risky for us to put ourselves on the line and allow others to see the fullness of who we are – our power and our struggle – perhaps especially at work or when we’re in positions of leadership.

So we hide

Behind whatever it is for us – professionalism, not speaking up, going along with whatever the higher ups say, hiding parts of our personality or identity, overly prioritizing numbers & strategy when we’re actually deeply empathetic and intuitive…

Brené Brown put it perfectly when she said:...

People all the time are like I have to put 20% of my income in my 401K to use when I'm 70 in the meantime I will marry the wrong person, fuck up my children, work my life away and wonder where the time went ‍

Can we just for a minute admit that conventional strategies for "success" weren't actually designed with your health or happiness in mind?

Like it's totally normal to take out a couple hundred grand in student loans but don't even think about investing a couple grand in getting to know yourself better

Like it's totally normal to throw 200k down for a house and it doesn't even come with a genie that's going to solve all your problems, or even three of them

Permission to do wtf you want with your money

Buy a house; don't

Put all your money in retirement; don't

Go to grad school; do it unconventionally

Use your money for things that will improve your life now AND for years to come

If you’ve been feeling the pull of working with me but also a lil cray for investing in...

I just got back from two weeks in Scotland, plus an impromptu night in London due to a flight cancellation

It was two jam-packed weeks full of the most breathtaking views, soul-reviving adventures, lots of human connection, comedy shows, musicals, light night jazz bars, high quality friend time and lots of delicious food

I took time off from coaching, but was still running the business, connecting with new clients, supporting existing ones while I traveled

Now that I’m back I’m feeling the pull of Radiance Collective starting in just two weeks

The energy of this program is deep and powerful; nourishing and uplifting

It will help you remember the fuck you are and what you are here to do

It’s just the thing to help you finish out the rest of this year in a way you can be proud of

And since traveling, three of you have joined!!

If you’ve been reading the posts, checking out the page and thinking this all looks amazing but maybe it’s not for you for...

I have been working more than I expected since I went on vacation

And that might be confusing for some of you that I’m helping with boundaries and taking time for yourself

The thing is we are in different situations

I am not burned out

I work less than I ever have in my life

I make my own schedule and only work with a handful of women I genuinely adore and love to support

I am lit up and passionate about my work. It is my mission

I genuinely like what I do

And when I’m traveling I often have a ton of creative ideas and things to say!

I’m not going to not write them down and share them with you because I’m “supposed to” be on vacation

Vacation is for doing what you want and I genuinely want to work!

I’ve been posting more than usual, supporting with clients, chatting with folks about radiance collective and welcoming new folks in!

And it’s freaking amazing that I can do that all from my phone anywhere in the world

So yes if my mind is...

I’m writing to you from Phoenix en route to Scotland to meet up with friends for the Fringe Festival and to roam the highlands and islands for the next two weeks!

As I prepare to be mostly in vacation mode for the next two weeks I wanted to share what’s been on my heart this week.

Which is this simple question: What if it all works out?

In my darker and more doubtful times (which often become more intense in direct inverse relationship to the bigness of what I’m trying to accomplish or shift) I sometimes remember to ask myself this question which functions as a very effective pattern interrupt.

What if it all works out?

Because if it all works out and you actually achieve the outcome you most desire, and life gets to be as good as you always hoped, you’re gonna look back and laugh at yourself for all the times you doubted.

For all the times you questioned, second guessed, lost faith in yourself and lost track of your vision.

But what if your trust and...

Here’s the thing people don’t get about empowerment work that often trips them up

If you want to feel powerful and in charge of your life and capable of making the dreams you have for your life come true

You’re going to have to confront the things in the way of you feeling powerful

The icky body shame

That one critical comment someone close to you made when you expressed your true calling

The unworthiness that makes you feel guilty for having anything more than other people

That’s right, this path is not all sunshine and rainbows

I can assure you that as soon as you choose your power, some shit is going to come up

And I hope that when that happens you have someone in your corner to lovingly point out that the stories and “reasons” about why it’s not safe, not okay, too much to claim what you most want may not ultimately be true

They’re stories and you get to investigate whether they still serve you or are in need of an update

As you...

I want to tell you a story about young Alyssa

A girl who knew how to get love, feel safe and belong by being the best at what she did

Not by being herself

That was too scary, too risky

No one would like the real Alyssa

She became a master at reading people and knowing how to present the version of herself that each particular person would like

Until she found some very special people she felt safe enough being her weird, brilliant self with

But even then, there were limits to the hiding she could do

It was her senior year of high school and the very first cross country meet of the season

Halfway through the race she realized she couldn’t make it

She spent the summer studying computer science and feminism at Yale and trying desperately to control her growing body

Compulsively weighing herself, making workout routines, not doing said workout routines, feeling bad about herself and binge eating to find comfort

When she landed back home and walked outside to meet her dad at the...

Wanna know the secret to getting what you want in life?

It really comes down to these three things:

knowing who you are, what you want and doing the inner work to believe you get to have it

Knowing who you are is the first most critical step that so many of us want to skip over

Instead, we unconsciously look for the thing that lines up with a script we were handed in childhood for what a “good life” looks like

Without even knowing it, the work we do, the relationships we choose, the way we interact with community, the things we think are possible for us reflect someone else’s dream, not ours

If you don’t know who you are, you can’t possibly live a life that’s an authentic reflection of you

Maybe that’s why your work feels off

Maybe that’s why you find yourself in the “wrong” relationships

Maybe that’s why the people around you don’t feel like your people

Maybe that’s why you’re unsatisfied at the end...

I have a vision of 15 women gathered around the fire, each of us seated on a large stone

Each of us is here to unburden ourselves of the heaviness we carry

Each of us is here to remember that we’re not meant to do this alone

Each of us is here to practice letting ourselves receive all the goodness in our lives

Each of us is here to practice a new way of being our most powerful self, one that is flexible, not rigid, and one that is intentional, not reactive

Each of us is here to learn, perhaps for the first time in our lives, how to take exceptional care of ourselves, of our minds, bodies, energy and emotions

Each of us is here to remember how incredibly important, worthy and powerful each one of us truly is

This is how I visualize my work

Instead of being on a stage or behind a lectern, I am a part of the circle of women gathered around the fire to tell our stories and inspire one another

The circle of firelight a buffer of warmth and protection that warms our bones and...

I’ve done a lot of outrageous things in my life 

Things that definitely did not make sense at the time but looking back make complete sense and I’m so glad I did!

Signed up for a yearlong women's group without knowing a thing about the leader or who else would be in the group simply because it felt like what I needed

Told my boss years before I left that I did not see myself at this company in five years and that I wanted to start my own coaching business so we could align my career goals to my actual life goal instead of a fake one of climbing the ladder

Lived rather frugally compared to my tech salary and spent $$$ on grad school, therapy, coaching and meditation retreats instead

Left said high paying stable job with all the benefits to jump head first into a multi year long coaching program on sex, love and relationships, of all things!

Went deep with my peers on a healing retreat in the Mexican jungle to release shame and feelings of inadequacy and step into my...