The high-achievers secret weapon

Throughout my life, I've always felt like I've had to keep working, keep moving, keep doing one more thing. But that's also made it a struggle to chill the f out and enjoy my life.

Does this sound familiar? If so, this is for you!

You're driven, you're passionate and you want to do an excellent job at whatever you take on.

These are all amazing qualities, but you've probably already learned that they also make you waaay more likely to burnout.

Here's where your secret weapon comes in.

When you consciously choose to connect to yourself in a pleasurable way, you encode the message that you deserve to feel good.

When you continue to show-up and choose pleasure, you learn to prioritize yourself over all the other things that lead you to burnout, like over-achieving and over-giving.

You learn to put yourself first over all the other things you've been taught to prioritize.

Which means you can continue kicking ass and taking names, while sustaining your own energy.

And pleasure...

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The role of pleasure in the revolution

Women are powerful and dangerous to the powers that be when connected to their bodies and erotic nature.

This is why my work is rooted in the body and dedicated to unwinding pernicious patriarchal patterns that lead us to perpetuate systems of oppression.

The same patterns that lead us to burn out are actually manifestations of white supremacy culture – more on that later this week!

As we continue to show up for change in our world, I cannot stress enough the importance of making space to 1) chill and rest and 2) actually feel pleasure and joy.

Choosing pleasure when everything else indicates you shouldn't – combined with taking action, of course – is the ultimate radical act, for all women but particularly for black and queer women whose identities intersect in increased layers of oppression. This is the origin of "intersectionality."

Audre Lorde, black lesbian activist and poet pictured below, wrote the essay Uses of the Erotic which was a big inspiration for me...

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Pleasure is still the best medicine

pleasure Apr 17, 2020

Let's be real, the past few days have been ROUGH.

I've felt sadder and more down than I have in awhile. Shit has been hard, but today, well today is a good day.

I'm still riding the high from our first Pleasure as Medicine class that was 

 We dove into the neuroscience of why the embodiment and meditation practices I teach help rewire our brains for deep integration and alignment, giving you more agency and more freedom to create the live you most want.

 We talked about prioritizing pleasure as a tool to rewire our habits of putting everything -- our job, partners, social lives -- before ourselves.

 We talked about reclaiming our sense of worthiness and using mindfulness to enhance pleasure and create neural pathways to experience more pleasure in our daily lives.

And even better, WE PRACTICED.

We didn't just talk about this stuff. We did THE ACTUAL WORK of building our skills of interoception and deep self-love and acceptance with a guided a body scan and...

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What does Pleasure have to do with Burnout?

burnout pleasure Feb 13, 2020

What does pleasure have to do with burnout? The answer is simple: EVERYTHING!

Many of us high-achieving perfectionist types experience resistance to pleasure. We think that we have to check everything off on to do list before we deserve pleasure.

How can I possibly think about feeling good when I have so many things to do!?!

I am here to remind you that you are worthy and deserving of pleasure no matter what. But trust me, I know how hard it can be to actually remember that and truly believe it!

When you consciously choose to connect to yourself in a pleasurable way, you encode the message that you deserve to feel good. When you continue to show-up and choose pleasure, you learn to prioritize yourself over all the other things that lead us to burnout, like overachieving and over-giving. You learn to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.

But pleasure doesn’t just help prevent burnout by teaching us to prioritize ourselves, it also heals it. When you experience...

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4 Ways to Nourish your Nervous System

burnout pleasure Oct 31, 2019

This week has me confronting how we continue to live our daily lives as the world burns, floods, melts, freezes. I’ve heard vulnerable accounts of how emotionally taxing and traumatic this week has been. The stress of living through climate change and evacuating from fire after fire has taken a toll.

I’ve seen research showing increased stress and suicidality in farmers living in drought-prone regions. I’ve seen the disastrous impacts of colossal weather events on largely developing and under-resourced countries.

I now understand why apocalyptic stories seem to be gaining popularity. The generation of kids growing up today are used to this. They’re used to wearing smoke masks to play outside, evacuating from natural disasters and rehearsing active shooter drills.

How do we go about living our daily lives when these types of events are the new normal?

Taking care of our nervous systems is incredibly important. Why? If you don’t help yourself get back to...

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The Real Reason You're Tired all the Time

On average, women today have more freedom than ever before in recorded history and yet we are more stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted than ever. 

Along with pursuing success in demanding careers, women still do the majority of housework and emotional labor in their families. We’ve taken on more and haven’t given anything up which is leading women to face exhaustion and burnout in alarming numbers. This impact is compounded for women of color and women who otherwise fit outside of our heteronormative white culture.

 During the 7 years, I worked at Google, I was diagnosed with a digestive disorder, an autoimmune condition, and Chronic Fatigue. Studies show that these particular conditions impact women at rates rate 3 to 5 times higher than men. When I read these studies I wanted to scream and demand the world tell me WHY??? I know so many women in my community who have faced these same diagnoses and yet no one seemed to know why these illnesses tend to impact...

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