I am a full-bodied YES! to my life and no, it has not always been this way...
I was sitting on the couch in our living room last night with our gorgeous tree glowing with lights, a fireplace video complete with crackling soundtrack on the TV and my altar of candles and flowers on the hearth, Maggie snoring soundly on the rug while I'm snugged on the couch reading my Ayurveda book
Lucien is unboxing his new VR toy which is making intermittent strange beeps, lights vibrations and whirring noises during the set-up process
And all I can feel is the huge expansion in my chest that almost feels like my heart is being pulled apart and breaking but like in a mostly pleasant way
This is what my body's full-bodied YES feels like
Past Alyssa would have been *so* annoyed by this deep sacred precious peace being so rudely interrupted as it has often been this football season
Past Alyssa would have retreated to the bedroom, put in her noise cancelling headphones and been a bit icy all night
We all struggle with decision making from time to time or all the time
From the little decisions like what we want for dinner to those BIG ones like where we want to live, what we want to dedicate our life to and who we want to spend our life with!
And here’s a lil secret: the way we handle those little decisions says a lot about how we’ll handle the big ones!
I’m in the middle of making a big decision and want to let you in behind the scenes to show you what it’s like
If this were an easy decision that wouldn’t be a very useful teaching tool so rest assured this isn’t an easy one!
I’m deciding on the coaching support I want to invest in for myself next year
I want to be strategic about the investment I make and make sure what I choose isn’t coming from a place of just wanting something cause it sounds cool but will actually serve me
So let me break down my process for evaluating my options, which is pretty extensive
I know what it’s like to be busy and overwhelmed, to be depressed and stuck, to not know when things are going to feel better or even if I could be trusted to take good care of myself.
I remember days waking up monday morning already feeling exhausted and dreading the week ahead
I remember days my to do list felt like it would never end while I simultaneously felt stuck and unable to move forward while zoning out on social media
I remember days white knuckling through work and life, pounding coffee because my adrenals were already shot and I had no energy left in the tank
I remember literal years of my life where I was so burned out and disconnected from myself I dreaded social plans after work, even though I loved my friends, because I was exhausted and just wanted to curl up on the couch at home
Though it’s been a decade since my first experience with moon wisdom, it’s been a slow journey for me to live my life in harmony with my cycles
Bringing the Radiance...
If you’re reading this, you’re one of few. Maybe we’re friends, classmates, colleagues or you magically found me on the internet or don’t even remember where.
The truth is I have a very small audience and honestly I like it that way!
I know it can feel like you’re one of millions when you get an email but if you’re reading this you are one of hundreds (or like a hundred who are actually reading this!)
Somehow thousands of people read my blog and I honestly don’t know where they come from but the mailing list is much smaller and more intimate.
Between my group programs and 1:1 clients there are only dozens of you!
It’s a small but mighty club ;)
I used to think I wanted a TED talk or a book deal or to do big speaking events. But I realized my performative inner achiever just thought she was *supposed* to want those things.
Now I can imagine a reality in which I want my work to reach millions from a place of alignment, rather than...
It’s the middle of the night in New Hampshire and it’s 28 outside. I’m sitting up in bed wishing I could sleep but my chest feels tight and every exhale sounds like a high-pitched whimper. Everytime I try to lay down it gets worse.
I’ve never had trouble breathing before but I literally can’t get enough air into my lungs, which feel like an old bellows that I have to work really hard to expand and contract.
I haven’t been able to walk from the living room up the stairs to the room I’m staying in for fear of losing my breath. I’ve been very quiet all day because talking felt like too much effort.
I’m away from home, in an unfamiliar place. All I’m focused on is trying to breathe and not panic. I didn’t know what was happening to me until the middle of the night when I listed my symptoms in my head:
Shortness of breath
Tightness in my chest
Trouble getting enough breath
And realized there’s a name for...
In many indigenous and ancestral healing traditions, both those practiced today and those our own ancestors practiced, imbalance is the root cause of disease.
In this western culture we’re so quick to medicalize, to try to cut out the problem, when maybe, just maybe our illnesses are on our side too.
Hear me out for a minute
If you believe, like I do, that our bodies are wise and intelligent and our body and brain is more of a bodymind (credit to yogic and tantric lineages who have known and deeply studied this thousands of years before modern neuroscience is proving it) it’s not a far leap to imagine that our bodies may use illness or dis-ease to communicate to us when things are out of balance.
The problem is that we often don’t listen until the prognosis is severe, but our body has been communicating to us, in the ways it can, the whole time – trying to nudge us back into balance. Pointing out things that aren’t working for us, whether they be foods,...
As I was putting the final touches on the Moon Wisdom for Modern Women Workshop and creating a bomb workbook for you something pissed me off
Your girl had a moment of second guessing and wanted to double check some resources before getting up in front of you all and preaching the moon gospel, so what does she do?
She googles “moon cycle and menstrual cycle” of course
If you do that right now you will find an entire front page of search results “debunking” any connection between these cycles
Oh maaaan did that piss me right. the. fuck. off.
So I proceeded to yell not at, but towards my partner – he’s basically an expert at moon wisdom now ;)
YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME
THEY ARE THE EXACT SAME LENGTH!
THEY BOTH HAVE FOUR PHASES!!!
HORMONE PRODUCTION IS REGULATED BY LIGHT!
THE MOON GIVES OFF LIGHT!
YEAH THEY DON’T ALWAYS “SYNC UP” BUT THAT’S BECAUSE OF LIGHT POLLUTION &...
Guess what? I just directly invited 404 women from my LinkedIn network to join me in Moon Wisdom! Talk about a major “asking for what I want” edge
I am so passionate and so clear that this is what I am meant to be talking and teaching about right now that I am taking uncomfortable actions like this to get this message out there!
One of the lessons the moon has taught is that when things are aligned, they fall into place so much more easily and so much more quickly than you ever could’ve imagined.
Moon Wisdom is a vibe, a force and a whole motherf*cking way. of. life.
Before I really learned to implement moon wisdom, my to-do list haunted me everywhere I went and because it never went to zero, I rarely felt proud, accomplished or relaxed.
I felt overwhelmed by all the demands and responsibilities of my life and felt like I had to white knuckle it through my day to force myself to get shit done (hahah alignment – wtf is that?)
There was a good five year period...
Before coaching, I made decisions based on what would look the best on my linkedin profile. I lived to please and impress everyone around me, but especially bosses, parents and teachers!
I was so wrapped up in trying to figure out what everyone else thought I should do that I had no f*cking clue what I even wanted.
I spent years of my life living for others instead of for me – that is until I found coaching. Coaching gave me the space to slow down, connect and listen to myself for the first time.
When I did that, it turns out I *did* know what I wanted and my brain showed me clear fleshed out visions of the life I wanted to live – on a farm, with lots of time freedom, helping other people. We're doing 2/3 of that! The farm part of the vision is taking a bit longer ;)
Coaching showed me that under my shyness and insecurity was a powerful, clear, articulate, motivated woman who knew how to take a huge risk to leave her tech job and double down on creating a life aligned...
When we don’t trust ourselves, we prioritize planning over intention, scheduling every last detail of our life, when really our *intention* is what holds our vision
Prioritizing planning instead of intention is like realizing your body is really sore
then having the thought that you should do a yoga class tomorrow
and immediately picking up your phone to scan the class schedule
only to find yourself scrolling shopping for yoga pants and down a rabbit hole with no plan or actual intention to tend to your body
It might also look like signing yourself up for yoga classes for the next month
then missing most of them because you tried to go from zero to sixty without clarifying why you’re doing this and why it’s important to you
Intention is what holds us through the distraction, doubt and difficulty
when we don’t want to show up, having an intention carries us through
If we don’t trust ourselves, we’re susceptible over-planning
What if all those...