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Should I leave my job?

empowerment Oct 21, 2021

Has this question been tumbling around in your head recently? If so, this one's for you.

Though no one can answer this question for you, I hope the following words will provide some opportunities for reflection and food for thought in your process.

Feel the feels first

Remember that this is a process. If you're in an emotionally activated state around your job, my guidance would be to not make a decision right now.

Call in support, feel the feels and process as much of the unfelt stuff as you can – perhaps feeling unseen and undervalued, perhaps anger or grief about the state of being a working woman at this time and all the responsibility you're holding.

Once you can move some of that emotion, you may find that clarity comes. Or it might not be clear yet, it's okay.

The dream job won't fix everything

I have supported clients who've shared that once they got the "dream job" they still didn't feel good. They then realized they needed to shift their own relationship to work in order to enjoy their lives and be able to identify and prioritize what they value – in their careers and in their lives.

Even though I am free from the corporate working structure and only answer to myself now, my own patterns of perfectionism, overworking and worrying about how well I'm performing still come up. And yes, I have support to work through them ;)

Sorry to break it to you but there is no magic job that will transform those patterns, but there may be a job (or a break from a job) that will alleviate pressure, allow you to heal from burnout and decide on your next steps. Which leads me to...

There's a time to leave and a time to lean in

You get to decide what is being asked of you right now and what your tolerance for risk is. Is it time to lean in and use this opportunity to do some inner work around your relationship to work or is there a change in environment needed?

Sometimes you do just have to quit. Maybe that would be the most empowering leap of faith you could make right now.

Healing requires space and time

In order to heal (from burnout, fatigue, work trauma, etc) we often need space and time, which I will acknowledge is a privilege not available to everyone. If you have healing to do, and savings or another form of income to support you, perhaps taking time off is exactly what you need.

I left my job in 2018, took three months off to travel and in 2019 did my coach training while working part-time in a yoga studio before going all in on my business. I did not know exactly what I was going to do next when I decided to leave. Let’s highlight that one...

It’s okay to not know what’s next

I know it’s scary. I know it goes against everything your parents, boss, friends, partner might advise, but maybe a leap into the unknown is exactly what you need.

Every time I have jumped, there has been fear – terrifying, enormous, soul-shaking fear. The kind of fear that isn’t grounded in reality, but a reaction to the tremendous potential threat of change.

In my case, I had enough savings to support me. That's the honest truth. I was okay with money. But OMG I did NOT feel okay! It was fucking terrifying to consider giving up the most cushy, stable and supportive job (or so I thought…) in the world.

This is where an outside perspective can be exactly what’s needed – to remind you that you’re not going to die – at least probably not because of leaving your job. It can feel really big and the thing to do when it feels really big is to widen your base of support.

Ready to take the leap? Widen your base of support

The impulse when we leap, is to contract and brace for impact. But what happens when we do that doesn’t feel good and doesn’t lead to the best outcomes – there’s a research study that shows the folks who know they’re about to get into a car crash get more severely injured because their bodies tense up, as opposed to those who don’t see it coming.

Not that you’re about to go into a car crash...but instead of following that instinct to contract, to feel scarce and scared, how could you invite more support to help you feel as relaxed as possible through the transition? Call in all your friends, hire the support, book the bodywork, seek out support in every possible permutation to hold you through the transition. If it’s hard to do it for yourself, know it’ll make this much easier on everyone around you.

Okay, that was a lot. I hope something landed for you that was exactly what you needed to hear or chew on. If you have questions or curiosities this sparks, I’d love to hear from you. Message me here or message me on the socials.

I have 1:1 coaching spots open right now at a lower rate for the next three folks that enroll, so if you’re curious about exploring that, let me know and we’ll set up a call.


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