What’s the difference between an over-achiever and a high-performer?
This question has been rattling around in my brain and I finally had a chance to sit down and reflect on this today.
Here’s what I came up with:
Over-achievers think if they want something done well, they have to be the ones to do it.
Over-achievers don’t trust themselves, so they force themselves to work instead of trusting their natural ebbs and flows of attention and energy.
Over-achievers work to compensate for a part of them that feels incomplete – if I could just do one more thing, maybe I’ll feel good about myself, maybe I’ll have worth.
Over-achievers are driven by fear – if I don’t do this well, then I won’t be safe.
Over-achievers don’t have a clear sense of what’s important to them, so they often give more of themselves to work then they might actually want to.
High-performers know that they’re actually not the best at everything.
High-performers trust people to do their part, so they can focus on their zone of genius.
High-performers seek out support and expert guidance to take them to the next level.
High-performers trust themselves to work when they’re energized and rest when tired.
High-performers enjoy working because they have boundaries and clear priorities.
High-performers know what’s important to them and orient their life to reflect that.
High-performers are driven by passion and purpose – they love to grow, learn and relish the sense of fulfillment work brings.
What does it take to shift from over-achiever to high-performer?
A lot of the high-performer traits actually stem from trust. Trusting oneself, trusting the world and trusting other people
How do you develop trust?
I would argue healing within an interpersonal relationship is actually necessary to build this kind of trust. There are scientific studies that theorize that clients learn how to regulate their emotions, soothe stress and anxiety and trust themselves by “borrowing” the practitioner’s nervous system via the mirror neuron system.
Bottomline: healing is possible and a skilled practitioner can help!
Burnout and resentment are an indicator that it’s time for some serious reflection and reprioritization. If that’s where you are, there’s no better way to begin to heal and cultivate self-trust than in a coaching container designed for this exact purpose.
There are two ways to work with me on this right now.
The Radiance Collective kicks-off on Wednesday the 19th and there are still open spots! That’s the most affordable way to get dedicated coaching and support from me within a small group of committed powerful heart-centered women on a similar journey.
If you’re desiring the depth, flexibility and personalized support of 1:1 coaching, I have a couple spots available now. Send me a message if you’re curious and we can see if we’re a match.
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